For Effective Communication – HOW Is Often More Important Than WHAT!

HOW You Communicate Is Often More Important Than WHAT You Communicate.

We live with communication devices practically attached to our thumbs and yet in many ways communication has never been more difficult. Often the busyness and pressure of life can cause us to assume we are communicating if we send off a quick email or text. An unfortunate reality of 21^st Century life is that it is easy to send of a tweet or post something on FaceBook without thinking through the possible implications of what we have communicated in what is essentially a public forum. In anger or in haste it is easy to hide behind the relative safety of just clicking send.

Every professional organisation needs a communication policy. No organisation can function effectively without healthy open communication. Unfortunately, we cannot leave it to the common sense of individuals because, as is often said, the problem with common sense is that it is not that common.

What is effective communication?

Communication is not just sending a message – by whatever means (spoken, written, delivered, posted, texted, etc).

Good communication covers the whole process of: sending a message -> gaining attention -> receiving the message -> understanding the message -> and acting appropriately to the message.

Who is responsible for effective communication?

The person trying to communicate is responsible. Obviously the hearer/receiver of communication shares some responsibility but the primary responsibility is on the initiator of the communication. Presumably they want a positive response to their communication, and so it is in their interest to ensure that their message is heard in such a way that the hearer can understand and respond meaningfully.

A few things to note about effective communication:

Not every communication method works well in every situation – E.g. if you want to let everyone know about a high priority emergency meeting you do not use email. If you need to know recipients have heard your message it is best to communicate by phone or at least text message.
Choose the appropriate method of communication for your purpose – E.g. if you wish to send a lot of detail that you want people to read to prepare for a future meeting or discussion then email is best (with a verbal reminder especially for those people who prefer verbal communication and therefore rarely read emails).
You need to know your audience in order to communicate well with them – E.g. you can communicate using in-jokes and assumptions about people’s response times when you are part of a small tight team. This becomes more difficult in larger looser teams.
What you should NEVER communicate by email, text, Facebook, Twitter: – Personal criticism, matters that should remain private, discussions about a third party, anything you may regret later (because it is so easily reproduced and sent to unauthorized third parties), unconfirmed facts, accusations, etc.
What you MUST communicate Face2Face – One-on-One – personal challenge, correction, bad news involving that person. To a group – anything that threatens organisational security, anything that should be discussed. Motivational encouragement is best delivered F2F and praise to individuals or a group is best done here.
Acceptable ‘on the run’ communication – Good news, quick heads up about a previous conversation, emergencies (though what constitutes an emergency will often be disputed).
Unacceptable ‘on the run’ communication – Anything that requires a thought out decision. The larger the organisation, the less you can communicate this way. E.g. ‘Can I have next Friday off?’ requires a written application in larger organisations because there are so many possible implications to think through.

In an age of so many communication possibilities, organisations need a communication policy which not only focuses on WHAT is communicated but also on HOW messages are best communicated as well.

What insights have you to add to this discussion?

The Most Important Question To Ask (& Answer) Every Day!

The Question: Why does this enterprise (organisation or business) exist?

The story is told of two labourers working at a large building site in Europe in the 18^th century. One was swearing and cursing as he moved never ending amounts of dirt and material in what seemed to him to be total drudgery. The other was working hard and had a spring in his step and seemed energized by his mundane work. When asked, the first said he was doing meaningless work that he hated, while the second exclaimed, “I’m building a great Cathedral that will still be here long after I’m gone.” The second man realized that he was not just doing manual labour but he was an essential part of building an amazing building that would be appreciated for generations. Understanding the BIG WHY totally changed his attitude to his labour. Interesting!

Every successful enterprise has a BIG WHY! This is also called: VISION

Vision statements should be short, easy to remember, and motivating!

Everyone in an organisation needs to know the ‘BIG WHY’ in clear and easy to understand terms. This is especially true for anyone expected to give leadership direction but even the volunteer on reception who answers the phone and the casual who does a menial task for a couple of hours a week should know why their contribution is important.

When people understand the ‘BIG WHY’ it RELEASES:

Motivation – Vision motivates, whereas tasks, even noble tasks, can make people weary especially when the going gets tough.
Participation – when people are secure about the boundaries of vision they find it easier to participate. In so many organisations team members hold back because leaders have not shown them how their role connects to vision.
Engagement – when vision is clear the right people will be drawn to engage with your enterprise
Contribution – it is amazing how much people will give if they know their efforts make a valuable contribution. This is vital for any team member, and especially for volunteers.
Long-term commitment – people love, in fact crave a sense of purpose in their lives. When they believe that their work has great purpose they will always be more committed.
Clear direction – plans and themes may change but consistency of vision will enable clear direction.
Personal growth and change – When the vision is clear team members are more secure and more willing to realize their need to stretch and grow and accept change to move the vision forwards.
Clear priorities – if we know why we are here then it is much easier to avoid wasting time on the things that are non-essential or distractions from the main direction. This in turn makes decision making much easier.
Corporate significance – If an enterprise has clear vision and makes regular progress towards achieving that vision, undoubtedly there will be significant benefits for many people inside and outside the organisation
Team morale – vision and all the first 9 points contribute to healthy team morale.

Among the many roles of a leader, none is more important than making vision clear, simple and motivating. This enables people to be able to ANSWER the most important question daily – for themselves and for others.

Do you and your team know the ‘BIG WHY’ for your organisation or business?

Your success could depend on how you answer this question.

How To Have That Difficult Leadership Conversation

There are few things more destructive to morale in a workplace as when there is a staff member causing havoc and no-one is willing to have that difficult conversation with them which would quickly fix things. Perhaps they are not performing well in teir role or they are causing all kinds of relationship issues with inappropriate comments or behaviour, or (add your experience here…..)

For me, these are defining leadership moments! This is where you win or lose the hearts of team members.

Deep down, even the most difficult team member wants to make a fantastic contribution and know that their efforts are making a difference! This includes that insecure person who is so sensitive to criticism it makes it very difficult to help and train them.

One of the marks of a true leader is they have the courage and the ability to train people and raise them up into a role and even better, into their potential.

In 30 years of leadership experience I have found that one of the keys to helping team members learn and grow is to be willing to correct and where necessary challenge them.

The best leaders have learned how to earn the right to be honest with people on their team by building a relationship where that person knows they care about them.

If a leader is secure, has built a good relationship, has competent communication skills (listening as well as speaking), is clear in their facts, and can handle a few tears or some initially defensive behaviour, then they will find that 9 times out of 10 there will be positive outcomes from deciding to have that difficult conversation.

I guess the reason many leaders avoid these conversations (one survey says 75% avoid if possible) is that they fear the 10% of times when a person reacts badly, creates a scene, quits their job or makes a complaint. They fear the ugly confrontation.

Like most fears though, the risk is far smaller than you think.

And, be warned: Problems avoided do not go away or diminish, they grow! The risk of negative consequences is far greater if the conversation is avoided! The earlier you step in and take the initiative, no matter how awkward it is at first, it will be easier than if you wait hoping the problem goes away.

10 keys that will help you have that difficult leadership conversation:

Make sure you invest time in building relationships with your team. Take them for a coffee and get to know what they value, what are their values, what makes them laugh and cry, what inspires or makes angry, what motivates them. Bottom line: they need to know you care.
Let your team know that you will be encouraging them for work well done AND correcting them when they need it as well in the interests of personal growth and achieving great team results.
Expect the best from your team and you will tend to get it.
Be consistent and be fair. No favourites!
Be a good listener so people always feel understood.
Be secure enough to admit when you get it wrong or when you learn something from others.
Give praise publically and correct/challenge privately (unless they refuse to learn and after 1 or 2 private conversations it becomes appropriate, if affecting the whole team, to correct publically).
Create an atmosphere of encouraging team accountability rather than judgement and fear about getting things wrong.
Remember an honest mistake is a learning opportunity not a reason to criticize someone.
Act sooner rather than later. Problems avoided always grow.

In my experience many of my best supporters were people who appreciated the fact that I cared enough to challenge them to do better. Rarely did a difficult conversation lead to losing a team member, though every time I knew that possibility was there.

To me this is one of the marks of true leadership.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your comments……

Why Critical People Do Not Make Good Leaders

I worked with a business recently where the employees would dread it when the owner of the business came into their premises after a few days off because they would always notice the one thing done poorly rather than the 99 things done well. New staff would try really hard to please him, but after a few weeks of being criticized harshly they would become negative and resentful and usually stop trying to please. Morale was always low and staff turnover was high.

In any organisation or business when someone begins in a role or is learning a new task they will make mistakes and often not know what to do. Some leaders/managers feel that it is necessary to focus on and jump on mistakes, as if that it is the best way to help staff improve.

In his classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie helped us understand that people respond far better to encouragement than they do to criticism. He showed that you never grow a positive relationship by criticizing people.

As a leader/manager if you focus on the things team members do wrong and continually point those things out to them, it makes them feel insecure and any relationship between you will struggle to be positive. In many cases they will feel picked on and develop a negative attitude towards you as leader. Even worse, they may begin to doubt their capacity to perform their role.

However, if you focus on what people are doing well and encourage them they feel supported and your relationship with them will be more likely to grow. Interestingly if they feel encouraged by you, they are more easily able to receive instruction from you and to ask you for assistance when they don’t know something.

So, as a leader/manager, it is not that you cannot point out errors and instruct staff to learn. It is the way you do it! A negative remark said in an unkind tone to correct someone, makes the recipient feel bad. They feel as if no-one before them has ever made such a stupid mistake. This will have the effect of discouragement and undermining any positive attitude towards learning their new role.

As leader/manager your role is to:

Set the tone of team relationships
Take an interest in each employee to know their strengths, passion and interests
Ensure that training and especially correction is given in as encouraging way as possible.

As a leader I always found it helpful to assume that people want to be helpful. Even when they make thoughtless mistakes I tried hard not to become frustrated but would aim to use the opportunity to help them learn and grow.

If a leader is cranky and short tempered and intolerant of people’s mistakes then everyone will be on edge and no-one will be very happy to be serving. If the leader is positive and has an encouraging manner then 95% of people respond well and will become a helpful part of the team.

What type of leader are you?

Extended DISC Is MUCH More Than A Personality Test.

Extended DISC is much more than a Personality Test.

Extended DISC (or E-DISC) is a personality profiling test that enables participants to learn which of the four main personality types they are. D for Dominant or Leader; I for Influencer or People Person; S for Steadiness or Stable; C for Conscientious or Details person. Hence we get D.I.S.C. Personality Profile which has been around for over 50 years.

If you just want to know which of the four personality types best describes you then DISC will help you. It is a great start to understanding self and others.

But the fact is that people do not fit neatly into 4 boxes. That is why E-DISC has been developed and scientifically tested on over 100,000 people worldwide with a reported 90% accuracy. E-DISC starts with the 4 main personality types and refines the test and the results to include 160 aspects of personality and behaviour.

Extended DISC is the premier personality test available today.

After completing a 48 question computer test, which takes about 15 minutes, a 24 page report is generated. It is forwarded to a trained consultant who will then explain and work through the implications of the report to the test participant.

I have been working with people as a trained E-DISC consultant for the past 12 months. Every time I sit with a person to go over their personality test report I am reminded of the power of this profiling tool. Without fail my clients are amazed at the accuracy of the report.

Some Benefits of an Extended DISC Personal Analysis Report:

It describes them in detail – their personal attributes, strengths, development areas, motivators, communication style, decision making style, what they try to avoid and their ideal manager-leader
It especially focuses on a person’s natural style and measures that against the way they perceive they need to adjust to be successful in their workplace.
It is excellent for measuring the amount of energy it takes to perform functions at work. A person can be quite successful at what they do because they have learned to perform the taks of their job, but the amount of energy required can be stressful. The E-DISC profile will show which aspects of a role are causing that stress.
It can predict whether a role is sustainable over the longer term or whether it would be better to change aspects of the role in order to better suit a person’s personality.

The Extended DISC personality profile is actually a personality and behavioural profile. It helps a person to undertsand their personality and their behaviour. The report is an excellent tool with which a trained consultant can assist their client to laser focus on the chief current stressors in their life and work. Over and again my clients tell me it is invaluable.

E-DISC can be used to analyse a work-pair reporting on the potential for synergy between 2 people. An E-DISC Team Analysis can be done, as can a 360 reveiw by team members of any position in a company. There are many other ways that E-DISC can be used. For more information check Extended DISC Australasia

That is why I am confident to say, Extended DISC is so much more than a personality test.

If you would like to know more about Extended DISC and how you can access your own E-DISC Profile Report and Consultation please contact John Drury via phone or email.

The Top 10 Ways For Leaders to Lose Followers

In the movie ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ Kate Hudson plays a character trying to make her guy (Matthew McConnaghy) pay for his boasting about picking up girls. She deliberately does all kinds of horrible things to annoy and frustrate him trying to make him break up their relationship.

It would seem that some leaders are almost as intent as Kate on losing their followers (although I’m pretty sure most are not deliberately trying to do so). I thought it would be instructive and perhaps a fun exercise to come up with the top 10 ways leaders can lose followers.

We are talking about the inconsiderate things leaders do because they really are too busy focusing on themselves and totally underappreciating their team members.

If you are a leader of a team, an organisation, a business or any kind of group of people (even a family) then I’d suggest that here are 10 ways you can ensure that you will lose all but the most docile followers. And the opposite is also true – as you take care to be considerate, empowering, caring, supportive, inspiring and well organised you will find your team rising to make outstanding contributions to your organisation or group.

The Top 10 Ways For Leaders to Lose Followers

Change your leadership vision and plan regularly and spontaneously so that it is very difficult to follow you
Make policies and decisions on the run and then often change them and deny you said it
Show no interest at all in the personal passions of your team members
Forget appointments and what is important to your team members, worse still call them by a wrong name
Often make demands of them at the end of their day or week which easily could have been made earlier in the day
Lose you temper at them without any good reason other than that you are frustrated and want to yell at someone
Blame them for your mistakes in front of others
Take credit for their contribution to projects and outcomes without giving them any acknowledgement
After they have done a lot of work on your urgent project putting in extra hours tell them that it didn’t matter after all
Play them off against other members of the team, creating a competitive rather than a cooperative work environment

Might that do it? How to lose followers and demotivate people?

One more…… Never compliment staff when they do well but ALWAYS notice and comment on the mistakes they have made.

I have come across leaders, bosses and business owners who act like this often and expect that their employees will take it simply because they are being paid. Did you know that far more people leave jobs because they don’t like the boss than because of lack of pay. In fact many people will stay in a lower paid role because they love the work environment.

I can think of a lot more points but I would rather focus on the positive. If you turn each of these points into the positive you will have a list of 11 ways to ensure you build a fantastic team who will love to flow with your leadership.

Have you got any comments to add? I’d love to hear from you.

3 Levels Of Thinking Required To Be Effective At Anything

Let me introduce you to Jesse…..

Jesse is a very skilled young website designer who has just started out working for himself. He has been told he is very good at what he does and has helped build a thriving business for his first boss, but has decided that he is ready to make the big money for himself. He has lots of friends who want websites and initially business is very good. He is busy creating websites. He loves applying his creativity, skill and focus to the task of helping people achieve their goals. (Level 1 Thinking)

However, after 3 months he begins to notice that client enquiries have slowed. He has a few awkward situations with friends who have not yet paid for work done. He has been so busy he has not even got his own website up and had done very little marketing of his own. He decides to go see an accountant and find out a few things about how to set up his business properly. (Level 2 Thinking)

When he thinks about it he notices that the websites he has been building are all quite similar – for friends who have a small business or a blog or a group they want to promote. The kind of work he is doing is not really using his skills and is not challenging him to grow. In his former job he had been doing work for large companies and organisations needing websites that were at times very challenging. He now wonders how he might attract those clients, and what he needs to do to position himself in that market. He begins to look at a few competitors, even his old company, and check out how they promote themselves. He realises he does not have a clear vision about his company, about the clients he is trying to attract, about the look and feel of any marketing strategy he might use. (Level 3 Thinking)

There are Three Levels of Thinking required in order to be effective at anything!

Level 1 – Tactical Thinking

This is the kind of thinking required at the coal face where the real work gets done. It usually requires great skill and focus. The technician needs to use all his skill and training to assess the situation, make decisions about how to proceed and take action.

Level 2 – Operational Thinking

This is the kind of thinking required to assist a business or organisation make sure they have enough resources when they are needed to get the job done. This is the very important world of trained managers and administrators.

Level 3 – Strategic Thinking

This is the bigger picture thinking vital to any business or organisation. This kind of thinking focuses on the purpose, the values, the direction and longer term goals, what kind of customers, what kind of marketing; all contributing to a strategic plan. This is where even a solo business person must learn to be a leader. Every business and organisation requires leadership

Like Jesse, it is so easy to get so focused on the task at hand that it consumes your thinking and efforts at the expense of other levels of thinking. Michael Gerber, (E-Myth Revisited) says this is the No. 1 reason that 80% of small businesses fail within the first 5 years.

Stephen Covey (7 Habits) writes about the difference between the clock and the compass. Managing your time and resources efficiently is of little value if you are moving in the wrong direction.

So, it is vital that EVERY business and organisation, small or large, has all 3 levels of thinking effectively working together in order to be effective.

In my experience the main level missing, or not sufficiently integrated into the working of a business, is Level 3.

This is often because in order to be a Strategic Thinker you need to be able to understand the purpose of all 3 Levels of thinking and communicate skilfully to integrate them for the benefit of the organisation.

For a small business person like Jesse, Level 3 Thinking is something totally foreign to him and is a good reason to hire a business coach or to find a mentor who can help him to learn to be a strategic thinker.

I’m endebted to the wisdom of Jo Muirhead of Purple Co for some seed thoughts in this article.

Please feel free to add your comments below.

‘Followership’ – The Key To Leadership.

I had to check if there was such a word in the English language as ‘Followership’. It is rarely used and means ‘the ability or willingness to follow a leader’ (Websters).

There is no doubt that there is such a word as Leadership. We have built a science around it and have studied it from every possible angle. In the last 50 years I wonder how many books have been written, how many lectures and seminars and courses have been delivered, how many magazines and papers published, how many coaches and mentors hired and businesses formed all around the concept of Leadership? The world seems hungry to learn about leadership.

Yet, we do not often focus on the most important criteria for leadership which is to have followers or a following. Great leaders throughout the ages are remembered for how well they served their followers, inspiring victory of some kind that would not have been possible without their courageous leadership.

True leadership is actually not about the leader but is all about the followers.
What is that old proverb? “He who thinks he is leading but looks around and finds no one following is merely taking a walk”.

There is a fantastic video on YouTube which someone has used to show the importance to a leader of gaining their first follower in order to start any kind of movement where a group of people are stirred to follow. If you don’t get the first follower then you will be just a crazy guy doing a dance connecting with no one.
Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8amMCVAJQ

Most of the best leaders I know spent a significant time serving another leader. I doubt there is a better way to learn the character and the skills required to become an outstanding leader than by being a loyal follower. While you are being the ‘first follower’ for someone you are serving there is a shaping and forming that happens on the inside of you.

It is good to have desire and dreams. However ambition can cloud the mind of the immature causing them think that leadership is about getting people to serve them, whereas it is entirely the opposite. Leadership is all about sacrificially serving the real needs of others.

10 qualities of a ‘first follower’:

1. You want a better future – you are not content with the status quo but you are not negative and cynical either
2. You believe that you can be part of making it happen – you want to make a difference.
3. You have a desire for relationship and for community – you love to be part of what is happening
4. You know (maybe by painful experience) the sound and look of a genuine leader – someone with conviction of heart and clarity of vision with whom you can connect
5. You do not need a lot of convincing to step out and follow when you see someone doing something you like.
6. You do not expect perfection from a leader – you know to err is human
7. You don’t expect the leader to do it all – you know they are just the point person who leads the way.
8. You do expect conviction, honesty and courage from a leader – these are the qualities that bond followers to leaders.
9. You are willing to give loyalty to a leader if they stay true to themselves even when results are not happening yet.
10. You are willing and able to bring others with you

So, what do you think?
Is this a different angle on leadership?
Are you a leader or a first follower?
To what extent is a first follower the key to effective leadership?

Any comments?

Extended DISC Personal Analysis Helps You Know Yourself

How well do you really know yourself?

Without trying to delve into totally philosophical questions, such as, ‘How do I know whether I exist?’ or ‘What is truth?’, I am posing a question that confuses many.

It is very challenging for anyone to really know themselves. The main way we grow to know who we are as a person is in the context of a healthy family. We act and others respond or react. We learn what works, what we like, what makes others happy or sad or angry, what is inappropriate or not, and much more – in the context of close and relatively ‘safe’ relationships.

If family is not ‘safe’ then we may not learn these things about ourselves which makes life and relationships much more difficult.

There is a self-awareness tool called the Jo-Hari window (named after the two psychologists who designed it) which summarises how this process works. It describes ‘the self’ in relationships. The basic idea is that the best way to learn about yourself is in the context of real relationships with people you know and trust. The four quadrants of the ‘window’ represent the whole self. They suggest the only way for a person to grow in self-understanding and expand their self-awareness is for them to interact and to receive feedback from others regarding ‘blind spots’. Then the ‘Aha’ moments of self revelation tend to happen in the midst of relationships or when reflecting on what we learned in the midst of relationships. The greater the self awareness the healthier the person.

I have just found another tool that is even more helpful to assist in your journey to know yourself well. This tool is has a scientific basis (tested with 73,000 people with an accuracy of 88%). It is called Extended DISC personal analysis. DISC analysis is a personality profiling tool developed in the 1950′s and E-DISC extends that into a behavioural tool measuring and predicting how a person will tend to respond in all kinds of situations and conditions and within a team framework with different types of people.

I ask the original question, ‘How well do you know yourself?’ because I found that E-DISC has really helped me to grasp who I am and how I behave more clearly than anything I have ever used before. It really is quite releasing to admit to myself and accept how my mind works and how I tend to relate to people.

In some of my past roles in life I have had to act a long way out of my comfort zones. Now while that was ok for a while, it was not sustainable long term without major emotional costs. Now I understand why I paid such a painful emotional cost in a high pressure leadership role. I did the role well but doing it for more than 20 years did not do me well. I wish I had known about E-DISC and been helped to understand myself so that I could better look after myself a long time ago.

If you would like to know more then please check my website:
I am now a fully accredited consultant and practitioner of E-DISC and can assist you with individual or team analysis.

How well do you really know yourself?

5 Keys to Continual Innovation

A research project was done some years ago seeking to determine which was the more intelligent – flies or bees. A very large transparent glass jar full of bees and a similar jar full of flies were put up against a window pane on a bright sunny day and the lids removed. As the researchers watched they observed every one of the flies eventually escaped their jar, but every one of the bees died in their jar. From this they concluded that bees are more intelligent than flies! They deduced that the flies just flew around and eventually bounced their way out the opening, but the bees with higher intelligence were so focused on the direction of the light being the way out that they only went in that direction. Hence the open glass jar became a death trap.

The most successful companies in the world at the beginning of the 20^th Century were the giant railway corporations in the USA that helped open up the prosperity of the wealthiest nation on earth. Yet these giant companies were largely gone by 1950’s because they thought they were in the railway business and did not realise they were actually in the transportation business. They, like the bees, focused on what they knew, and meanwhile other companies and the public embraced air travel.

I was at a presentation recently by Yellow Pages which for the past 10 years has been quietly innovating because long ago they realised that the days of a large telephone-type-book approach to their business was drawing to an end. Today through constant innovation they have a very diverse online network with a combined total of 30 million searches per week because they have realised they are not in the telephone book business but in the people connection business.

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” may have once been a good mantra, but in this day and age, with things changing all around us all the time, it is usually those who resist innovation who will be struggling tomorrow.

5 Keys to Continual Innovation.

Know your core business – Jim Collins, Good to Great, discovered in analysing businesses that had been successful for more than 50 years, that they knew their core business well and stuck at it, but were willing to keep changing everything else all the time.
There is always a way! Keep telling yourself until you believe it. If what you are doing is not working, growth has slowed or results are starting to plateau, then try something else, and if that doesn’t work, try something else…
Brainstorm possibilities regularly – Always be thinking ahead of the game. This involves making sure you make time and clear your headspace to be able to think ahead of the urgent day to day matters to engage in seeing where you are headed.
Be eager to learn new things – the day you start to think you know it all, or that no-one can teach you anything is the day to sell your business.
Don’t be afraid to fail – Build a culture within your business which gives everyone the clear message that it is ok to fail. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback! This will build an environment in which team members will be willing to have a go without fear of recrimination.

A great question to ask yourself is: “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

So what are you working on right now that will make tomorrow different for you?